Timothy Zagada Personal Site



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Despair in Residency Training

Posted by Timothy on February 26, 2019 at 8:40 PM Comments comments (0)
I am currently a surgical resident at the most toxic hospital in Bicol. Where patients are numerous and tasks are basically unlimited. Different demands from different bosses. So far from the ideal training everyone is thinking about. In a nutshell you work most of your days. With scarcity of sleep and it being a privilege. Rest day is a privelege. I want to learn, I want to study. And love it while Im doing it. Now I feel like a robot, only an item to keep the hospital going. They say maybe I cant adapt. But it is what Im afraid of. To adapt and be output oriented without focus on the process. To work because you have no choice, to work because you are afraid, to work because you need to finish. I want the highest quality of health care but the quantity of work overthrows the quality. I want to study but basic needs are sacrificed. Myself is a sacrifice.

My experience being a PGH Medical Intern

Posted by Timothy on July 8, 2016 at 2:25 AM Comments comments (0)

Oh yes, Its been a while. Many things happened. I was accepted in UP-PGH for a year long internship. And its finally over (Thank God hehe). Basing on my experiences I can say that my work in PGH is a hybrid of a clerk, a resident, and a manong and those work not in the job description of others.

A clerk- Yes, we still do monitoring and different procedures like blood extractions, catheter placements etc. Thats why interns never wear their coats on the wards or else that whte coat will end up creamy with an aroma of sweat and speck of blood. 

A resident- You have the privilege as the front liner of the medical team and co-manage the patient with the resident in-charge. You will be responsible in accepting the patients in the wards and evaluating their status. You can also write your own notes on the charts with your suggested diagnostics, assesment and work-up. You also have to make your own rounds everyday and evaluate your patient.

A manong- This is the part that reflects the despair of the health condition of the country. Maybe the government have insufficient funds to hire other personnel. So as interns we fill up the works of "Manongs". With the use of our own physical strength, stamina, and goodwill to others, we transport the patient from one place to another (ER-ward, ward-xray, CT scans, etc). There are times that you will transport multiple patients in one stretcher due to the large number of admissions but lack of medical equipments.

Those work not in the job description- There are a lot of things interns do that also drains their, time, energy and even resources. The lack of personnel transforms us to be nurses, phlebotomists and couriers. In times of emergencies we shed out our own resources to save a patients life.

Below are the pictures of me and my blockmates. Hope to see you again. Its been a great year. Thank you very much. 

Welcome To My Whiteboard :)

Posted by Timothy on January 14, 2015 at 7:45 PM Comments comments (0)

Our life is like a whiteboard written and drawn of with different people. Some may just be written for a while but becomes an important note to our present. Some may be there a while longer to become a constant reminder of our endeavors. A few are permanently etched that neither becomes a fragment or relic of our memory, but becomes a principal key of our well being... a continuous memento on becoming a better person.

The significance of these permanently etched people are not measured by time but by the impact they brought on us.... on how they inspire and brings us realizations on how you want yourself to change and improve. Amazingly these person are not perfect like others might expect them to be. They also have flaws like any human being. The catch is.. when these people are stirred to our despicable selves creates a wonderful mixture compounding with greater worth and value.. making you cherish every element of your life.


Diane, I thank God for you being stirred to my life  

Welcome to my whiteboard.  :)

In illness and in health. Till death do us part.

Posted by Timothy on June 21, 2014 at 2:05 AM Comments comments (0)

Im on m duty inside the Intensive Care Unit. I have been monitoring this patient for 3 days. A 36 year old female who had Intracranial hemorrhage and now in coma (GCS 3). Her husband stood beside her holding her arms tightly. This picture was taken on her 37th birthday. This is what marriage is. This image reflects a true love in real life. Keeping each others oath and promises. Never letting go, never giving up.

Reflection: A Visit to Manila Boys Home and Girls Home

Posted by Timothy on April 10, 2014 at 8:55 AM Comments comments (0)

The Manila Boys town is an orphanage for the homeless, abandoned, forgotten, and voluntarily surrendered children. We conducted our agency visit today and by just being there reminds me of how very fortunate and honored I am. Very fortunate because I grew in a household that fulfilled my hierarchy of needs from physiological to self-esteem needs. I am honored because I am studying medicine wherein not anyone are privileged to take. Seeing them smile because of a simple game, a sandwich and juice drink enlightens me. They’ve got almost nothing but they can manage to be happy. It gives me no excuse to feel anxious and not be glad for what I have. I sometimes spoil what I have by desiring what I do not have. I forget that what I have now was once among the things I only hope for. We are not from a rich family and studying Medicine was only a dream. But God used some people to help me reach my dream. I also hope the same for these children. They maybe already psychologically and mentally scarred for life but still there is still life. A life that can make changes possible through time. A time that they can cherish and help themselves grow. And as they grow they can meet or create opportunities. Opportunity to be someone they want to be which was stripped away from them right from the very start.

A child with a candid smile while playing paper dance

My Vacation and the Impending Internship

Posted by Timothy on March 17, 2014 at 5:55 PM Comments comments (0)

Im on my last year of studying medicine, the Junior Internship. I am really happy I made it to this point. However, this stage means that there will be less vacation for me. 

Our internship begins next month. We were given 1 month at most to enjoy our vacation prior. I got back with my family my close friends and even made new ones.

If theres one thing I learned from med school regarding social life, it would be "You'll sacrifice some of it". Its so sad thinking that I'll be leaving them again. This is the price to pay to reach our dreams, to save other people. Right now I can't organize my thoughts. This may also be the lousiest entry I ever made. It knocks me in the head when I talk being separated from SPECIAL people that comes along our life.


One semester left before Junior internship

Posted by Timothy on September 19, 2013 at 4:25 AM Comments comments (1)

I will now enter the 2nd semester of 3rd year Med. I had difficulty passing some subjects on the first semester but thank God I made it. It gets harder and harder. Things become more complicated and difficult to understand. But I feel satisfaction everytime I correlate different ideas.

It pains me to think that some of my close friends got delayed. Failing in some subjects is common in Medicine but this is one of the "most common" things in medlife that is very hard to accept. Every failure presents another opportunity to improve but there's a regret in terms of the times elapsed that are sacrificed in the process.

Reaching for our dreams doesn't ensure us a smooth journey. There will always be obstacles and the most irritating obstacle is our tendency to give up. We knew beforehand the difficulties when we embark this journey but knowing is different from experiencing. Pain and frustrations will flood our emotions as we become helpless and lose our confidence. We need emotional analgesics to relieve us from this pain. And as corny as it may sound, the most effective analgesic there is is the love and support we receive from others. It makes us feel and remember that there are more things in life. Our dreams are our individual agenda but once we incorporate other people in this dream we will never feel alone. I will become a Doctor for the people I love. I don't care about how long it will take me, as long as I feel loved I will go on. If I fall I will stand, If I fail I will never surrender.

This was taken after my graduation in nursery. I was asked by my parents what will I do after. I replied that I will go and search for a job. But I realized later that I wanted to be a Doctor ;)

We fought for the V-neck

Posted by Timothy on April 4, 2013 at 8:25 AM Comments comments (3)

V-neck signifies that you made through the first two years of medicine. It is the uniform rightfully worn by third year medical students who are almost in the pinnacle of their academic journey on becoming a physician.

Second year med is a lot harder than first year. When I was a freshman I rarely stay up late. But in 2nd year I learned what it literally feels like to be sleepless. Evenso, I felt I didn't gave all my best. That's because I have the tendency of having work paralysis if I'm stuffed with exams or reports. When there's so much to do with so little time, I become immobile. My inner self also wants to break free and revolt leaving me tardy and only aims for mediocracy. This is another realization in my life that I am phlegmatic and just want to enjoy life. We only live once. Studying to become a Doctor is not a joke but living our precious life is not a joke either. We must not be too hard on ourselves. There's no sense in reaching our dreams if we sacrifice ourselves in the process.

There's a saying that "we reap what we sow". If you plant a crop, you leave a time for it to grow. Persistently watering it or putting fertilizer can kill it. Just like our brains, forcing it to learn a lot of things might not kill you but affect your personality or maybe you just go crazy.

 Everything has its own time. A time to study (which in Medicine means most of your time), a time to rest and to just do silly things that defines who you are. As for now I reap what I sow. I will be wearing a V-neck next semester. I plan to keep things going smooth. I never want to put a lot of pressure on myself. Just do things on their right time then everyting will be fine.

Things I learned after finishing my first year in MedSchool

Posted by Timothy on April 5, 2012 at 12:30 PM Comments comments (1)

Thank God for I got through the first year of med school. It is not a walk in a park to complete all the units before reaching second year. I am blessed with good friends and people who inspire me to pursue my dream. Without them everything I do would be meaningless and out of place.

So hows first year? All I can say is from the first day and last day of being a first year student, every single day will always lead me to the realization that there are a lot of things that I don't know. It was always my habit to criticize other people but here in Medschool I learn to trust others because of this realization. It is a very humbling experience. For ourselves to be adequate we must first accept that we are insufficient. We can only fill a cup if it is empty than just pretending to be empty. We will learn a lot if we acknowledge and trust others capabilities rather than doubting them.  It also taught me that for you to learn, you must also thrive to learn. And learning with other people is more fun than learning things by yourself. 

In the end, being a good Doctor will not always be about how much you know, but how you treat and respect your patients. 

gelDkabs band. A Medical student band.

Posted by Timothy on December 8, 2011 at 4:20 AM Comments comments (0)

There are many ways to unwind and for a moment relieve the stress from medschool. Our way is to Rock and Roll! We recently formed a band within our own class. We are the gelDkabs band. Rockin our way out of stress.

This video was taken during our practice. We did a soundcheck first before playing a song. We covered "Meant to Live" by Switchfoot. Our bassist and vocalist switched places.  Anj (our bassist) doesn't know the lyrics but we still kept playing :D