I am currently a surgical resident at the most toxic hospital in Bicol. Where patients are numerous and tasks are basically unlimited. Different demands from different bosses. So far from the ideal training everyone is thinking about. In a nutshell you work most of your days. With scarcity of sleep and it being a privilege. Rest day is a privelege. I want to learn, I want to study. And love it while Im doing it. Now I feel like a robot, only an item to keep the hospital going. They say maybe I cant adapt. But it is what Im afraid of. To adapt and be output oriented without focus on the process. To work because you have no choice, to work because you are afraid, to work because you need to finish. I want the highest quality of health care but the quantity of work overthrows the quality. I want to study but basic needs are sacrificed. Myself is a sacrifice.